gulch creek holdup

An article written by my cousin, originally published for the Rover Arts in Montreal. Though I don't remember this particular showing (I was only one at the time) these family movies are classics in the Paterson clan.

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Looking Back on Gulch Creek Holdup
By Mark Paterson
29.12.08

HIPSTER, FRET NOT. Gulch Creek Holdup is not a film you’re supposed to have seen. Gulch Creek Holdup is a four-minute home movie drama shot for fun in the mid-1950s. I saw it on Christmas Eve, 1981, during a gathering at my grandparents’ house when I was ten.

My grandfather wasn’t in the mood; a monumental campaign of begging and prodding had to be waged to convince him to dust off the projector and haul out the movie screen. He then grudgingly went about finding an appropriate dictionary-atlas combination, one just the right height for the projector to sit atop. Finally, he delicately removed the round reel of Super-8 film from its can and carefully fed it into the projector. Clearly, my grumpy grandfather was the only person in the room who possessed such extraordinary expertise.

Gulch Creek Holdup followed a simple, Old West storyline: a bandit, (played by my father, age 10) wearing a ten gallon hat and bandana, carries out a daring bank heist. The hapless bank teller (my father’s youngest sister) is a baby and too cute to be blamed for giving up the loot without a fight. The outlaw makes off with the goods, callously gunning down an innocent bystander (my grandmother) during his getaway. The venerable town sheriff (my uncle) and deputy (another aunt, this one out of diapers at least) quickly mobilize. They mount broomstick steeds and set off in pursuit. The murderous thief leads them on a furious chase across the back yard and into an adjacent field, where he is finally apprehended.

The final scene is Gulch Creek Holdup’s best. A large, upside-down playpen stands in as the jailhouse. The bandit is locked up, joining a previously captured convict played by none other than my grandfather. Dressed in a white t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of thick horn-rimmed glasses more the style of the 1950s than the 1850s, he strikes a gruff prison pose. His ill-tempered expression up on the screen is the same look he gave when asked to break out the equipment in the first place.

But after the movie ended, as I watched him lovingly rewind the film, I realized he had been acting in both settings.

Gulch Creek Holdup is my earliest significant art memory. It struck me that the very people sitting in the room, my supposedly grouchy grandpa included, had made this thing. For the first time, I thought about art as something that is created, and not simply consumed. It was a trigger moment; the desire to create was as much a physical sensation as a conscious thought. I began to conceive of art as something I wanted to make.

As far as gifts go, this one ranks among the best I’ve ever received.

Mark Paterson is the author of the short story collections A Finely Tuned Apathy Machine and Other People’s Showers. Though writing is his game, he knows his way around his Super-8 projector and is only too happy to haul it out upon request.

itunes dilemma

Well, as part of the bounty of Christmas I received $45 in iTunes gift cards. However, I am feeling out of the music loop. I am looking for some suggestions of your top two current artists or songs. Please comment with your ideas!

st. nicholas letter

This year was the first year that Ashlyn and Caleb sent letters to Santa. They were drawings of what they wanted for Christmas. Mom and Dad forgot to scan them before they were sent off in the mail, but Ashlyn's picture was of her on skis and Caleb's had him sitting in a snowfall (with a little help from Dad).

In the grand tradition of Tolkien, they received their first letter back from St. Nicholas on Christmas Eve:



And a picture of St. Nicholas' home in the North Pole:



I think it's the beginning of a fun tradition!

advent coming

In a dark place...
  LIGHT!
To me a gift...
  WONDERFUL!
There is no end...
  PEACE!
There is one response...
  TURN!

too big to fail

While I don't get too much time to listen to the radio, I stumbled upon this commentary by Dave Ross the other day in the car. I laughed out loud while I was in the car alone. It's ridiculous:

Fill In The Blanks: Wall Street

group silence

Today we sat in silence.
The question floated between us.
Nothing said.
Much thought.
Much felt.

To speak was to break...
something that we could not name.
A voice spoke
hesitant
but hopeful.

A group in silence.
Some could not stand.
Side conversation.
Words whispered.
The moment lost.

What did the Lord wish?
In silence as a group we waited.
The Spirit moved.
Subtle.
Simple.

We are left with more questions.
Nothing answered.
Only the memory.
Silence.
Community.

Is a community forming?
Out of silence.
Out of prayer.
So we wait.
Patience.

Now we go as one.
United in our quest.
To seek the Kingdom.
Much stirred.
Much hoped for.

my father. my shepherd.

My Father. My Shepherd.
   You've been all around me.
You offer me all I need, if only I
   would receive it
   and be satisfied.
You will order my life well,
   if I will seek you.
You are always seeking to
   help me in hardship
   and temptation.
You are delivering me from
   the pit of my sin.
May you get all the credit
   for my life. I am sorry
   for when I try to claim
   the credit for myself.

Amen.

creation speaks

Let me sit and listen
   to creation.
Its expanse. Its beauty.
   Its majesty.

The heavens declare
   the presence of God.
The plants speak of
   His goodness.

The seas cry out
   for God's power.
The animals bleat
   for His care.

Rise my soul and
   join in the song.
Sing His praises,
   sing of Him.

proverbs 31 husband

Yesterday I was asked if I knew about the Proverbs 31 Husband. One usually here's all about the Proverbs 31 Wife/Woman, since that's what most of the chapter is about. Here's the description of the husband:

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. - Proverbs 31:11 (ESV)

A lot of my mistakes in the last 7 years would have been avoided had I heeded/knew this scripture before yesterday.

Then I read the post below this morning. Take heed men.

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(Author: David Mathis from Desiring God Blog)

The apostle Peter writes,

Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

This is strange at first glance. How does caring for your wife connect to having unhindered prayers?

Here's Wayne Grudem's challenging commentary:

So concerned is God that Christian husbands live in an understanding and loving way with their wives, that he "interrupts" his relationship with them when they are not doing so. No Christian husband should presume to think that any spiritual good will be accomplished by his life without an effective ministry of prayer. And no husband may expect an effective prayer life unless he lives with his wife "in an understanding way, bestowing honour" on her. To take the time to develop and maintain a good marriage is God's will; it is serving God; it is a spiritual activity pleasing in his sight." (1 Peter, 146)

Christian husbands shouldn't feel that time given to their wives is "time away from the real ministry." Time invested with our wives is time well spent. It's God's will—"a spiritual activity pleasing in his sight."

solo

I have really enjoyed THE MESSAGE//REMIX: SOLO An Uncommon Devotional. I'm not usually a fan of daily devotionals, and I definitely don't have the discipline to sit with a 365 day devotional over time. However, this has a different aspect I love as a person struggling to pray and as a pastor wanting to lead others deeper into prayer.

The whole thing is based on a short reading from The Message paraphrase and then leads you through a form of Lectio Divina. It uses the basic structure of READ the Scripture, THINK and meditate on the main idea, PRAY through what God is saying to you, and the LIVE in a different way. Each devotional has specific questions, instructions, or leadings to help you engage the passage. For those wanting to learn how to read the Bible, those wanting to pray through the Bible, those wanting to learn how to hear God's voice, and those wanting a more holistic experience of their relationship with God this is a great buy!

Did I mention if you are a pastor, teacher, small group leader, etc. that its a great way to lead others into those things as well? We have been using the devotionals on "Prayer Cards" each week at Crossroads to help develop our church into a "house of prayer." I have been able to look up the subject of the teaching each week, or the passage that was taught on, and find a devotional that will help our congregation during the week. Even when I wasn't able to find something that fit right, it was a great guide to writing our own!

Bottom line: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! The applications are endless. Students, pastors, adults, teachers, small group leaders... I was even thinking for parents wanting to start their own family devotionals this would be a great tool or model since it often has activities to do as you READ, THINK, PRAY, & LIVE. Check it out.

scattered seed

Scattered seed…
truth flies

Hardened path
seeds bounce far and wide
barren and dry
the path begs for birds
Relief from the “burden,”
truth lifted.

Rocky soil
truth a gift
welcomed, sprouts
trials as hot as the sun
Parched for living water,
hope withers.

Among the thorns
truth pushes through
fighting for life
weeds twisted and deep
Choked by cares,
life fades.

Sown on good soil
truth takes root
growing rich
living water flows
Bearing fruit, multiplied
one hundred fold.

Truth flies…
scattered seed

gotta love it

Be sure to pic up your Forget Bitter apparel, hats, clocks, mugs, buttons, and stickers!!!

For those of you who don't recognize the handsome chap in this picture he is one of my good buddies. He also sells pipes.

MACain vs. PCobama

lausanne covenant

I was intrigued to come across the Lausanne Covenant which is a globally created and multi-denominationally created statement for theological common for unity in mission. Just started breezing through it, but really appreciated the closing statement:

Therefore, in the light of this our faith and our resolve, we enter into a solemn covenant with God and with each other, to pray, to plan and to work together for the evangelization of the whole world. We call upon others to join us. May God help us by his grace and for his glory to be faithful to this our covenant! Amen, Alleluia!

A beautiful picture.

I am beginning to read it more carefully and see whether it can be as unifying as the dream above.

death to self

I was reminded of this quote. It has been transformed in my heart into a regular reminder and prayer. I couldn't remember the words exactly because they have taken so many different shapes in my life.

I found it in an online copy of a memoir (ironically on page 187):

To one who asked (Mueller) the secret of his service he said:

"There was a day when I died, utterly died;"

and, as he spoke, he bent lower and lower until he almost touched the floor —

"died to George Mueller, his opinions, preferences, tastes and will — died to the world, its approval or censure — died to the approval or blame even of my brethren and friends — and since then I have studied only to show myself 'approved unto God.'"

What a gift. May it be a continual prayer of the hearts of those who seek to honor God and follow Jesus.

crammed with heaven

Earth's crammed with heaven,
and every common bush afire with God;
but only he who sees, takes off his shoes—
the rest sit around it and pluck blackberries.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Part of this poem use to hang over the door to the youth room when I was a youth pastor. I had forgotten the expectancy these words brought to my heart. And the addition of the last line (which was not on the sign over the door) reminds me that it is so easy to live life while missing God's presence and blessing.

walden

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartanlike as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. For most men, it appears to me, are in a strange uncertainty about it, whether it is of the devil or of God, and have somewhat hastily concluded that it is the chief end of man here to 'glorify God and enjoy him forever.' - Henry David Thoreau

directing tolerance

The implications of Prop 8 in California are quite hard to fully grasp. As a Christian I wish to affirm Biblical marriage, as a thoughtful person I want to affirm the fundamental health of society when it comes to traditional marriage, and in wanting to be thoughtful about the freedoms of the U.S. I want to be fair in how the government treats crime, vice, and virtue. If only we were voting on marriage certificates on November 4th this issue might be clearer for me... but here is a story, only one story, from Massachusetts. Certainly food for thought:



Whether this story has "extreme" parents or an "extreme" administration on either side is irrelevant. It happened, and will continue to happen with such confusing messages to our kids from two distinctly different worldviews.

I wish our legislation would teach or direct us how to treat each other in a more tolerant way. In other words, how to be civil when we deeply disagree over something that we both agree is important.

jj heller

JJ Heller and her husband Dave led worship this morning at Crossroads. It was great. She has a voice and writing style that certainly pierces the heart. Her sound reminds me of Colbie Caillat. Check out her new album available for free download until November 1:

toph economics

Thanks to Toph for a great link to reading on the Bailout.

While it is quite in depth I found these articles especially interesting on Mr. Bailout (Alan Greenspan), Avoiding Another Depression, Austrian Theory on Depressions, and these on Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. The fact that these articles date back at least to 2002 lends some credibility to their assertions about the fact we would come to the current crisis, be tempted by Federal involvement and the nationalization of finance, as well as real ideas for not making things worse (i.e. no bailout).

No matter where you stand, some serious thought about our current financial crisis is in order. This is a good place to start. Anybody else have other resources?

now for something ridiculous

David Crowder*Band and Jesus Is A Friend of Mine (see the original)

bailout response

Consider contacting your Congressperson and Senators regarding a responsible, accountable, and long term decision to the financial crisis. Here is a link with a suggested letter by Sojourners (but you can edit it, the main thing is it will automatically email your representatives for you).

bono on bailout

It's extraordinary to me that the United States can find $700 billion to save Wall Street and the entire G8 can't find $25 billion dollars to save 25,000 children who die every day from preventable diseases. - Bono (source)

bailout or bribe?

The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers it can bribe the public with the public's money. - Alexis de Tocqueville

me vs. velociraptor

I could survive for 1 minute, 16 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds Pedia

SOAP: the hope of silence

S. The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for people to bear the yoke while they are young. - Lamentations 3:25-27 (TNIV)

O. In the midst of suffering it is good to still hope. Hope comes in quiet, non-complaining, silence before the Lord.

A. My impatience is brought out in these verses. I want salvation and revival now! I am reduced to constant talk and complaining when hardship comes (maybe even when its not around). Let me retreat to silence when hardship comes. Here the Lord can stir my hope.

P. Today is a busy day Jesus . . . be still and silent of mouth and mind so that others may speak and you may be filled with my hope.

SOAP: humility of the church

S. Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children, who faint from hunger at every street corner. - Lamentations 2:19 (TNIV)
(The Church) has sinned greatly and so has become unclean. All who honored her despise her, for they have seen her nakedness; she herself groans and turns away. - Lamentations 1:8 (TNIV)

O. The state of our children reflect our sin before God. As we have been unfaithful, so our children faint from spiritual hunger.

A. A call to repentance, prayer, and restoration.

P. Thank you Lord for your forgiveness. Help me rise and declare your glory!

Give praise to the Lord! Sing his praises, sing of him. Tell of all his wondrous acts. Lord you are making a remnant. You are calling people to humility and prayer. Your are healing the land. Lord bring Mark into your kingdom! Let him be the peacemaker!

SOAP: doubt & change

S. . . . This calls for patient endurance and faithfulness on the part of the saints. - Revelation 13:10 (TNIV)
For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end. - Psalm 48:14 (TNIV)

O. God is worthy, beautiful, joyful, great, strong, faithful, loving, righteous, and good. This is our God. The world is confused, hurt, indulgent, and broken. This is our world. Between this tension are a people called to ptient endurance and faithfulness.

A. I hear Jesus saying, Wait on me, do not rush. My answer will be revealed in time. Be faithful in your dealings and prayer, let me be the one to guide, let me protect my people and my name. I am willing to risk with many. I am willing to risk with you.

P. Guide us O Lord! Jesus, create in my a clean heart O God, and renew a right spirit (of grace) within me! Doubt.

What do I doubt? That my kingdom is not of words, but of power.
Lord, will you show me where I doubt? Change, outbreak, revival.
Lord I want to change. I confess that my search for change has consumed me through thinking and politics. I am tempted to trust men for change and not you. Help my unbelief. Lord I confess my desire for a king, a president, or a senior pastor . . . All I need is you! Lord be my king. Be my president. Be my senior pastor. Command me. I choose your leadership. I submit to your vision and teaching.

SOAP: the power of a jesus life

S. The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him . . . They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. - Revelation 12:9-11 (TNIV)

O. Satan and his angels are actively trying to lead God's people away from God. It's all Satan's got left. We will triumph over Satan's power through Jesus and an incarnate life. By Jesus' power in us, we are like him.

A. Today I teach, pick up trash, I walk the halls . . . what will it be like to be Jesus on these moments.

P. Lord thank you for your faithfulness. As I was willing to walk in the things you are passionate about you show up in power! The Enemy has no chance. Help me care about the things you care about so I will be more like you.

SOAP: my first king

S. Say to them, "This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Will it thrive? Will it not be uprooted and stripped of its fruit so that it withers? All its new growth will wither. It will not take a strong arm or many people to pull it up by the roots. 10 It has been planted, but will it thrive? Will it not wither completely when the east wind strikes it—wither away in the plot where it grew?" - Ezekiel 17:9-10 (TNIV)

O. Israel, as a people group, was meant to have God as their King. They were not satisfied. Then came their own king. God was not satisfied. Then came their exile to Babylon and submission to a new king (the first eagle in the previous verses). They were not satisfied. So they sought ought the king of Egypt (the second eagle). In all these settings there were times of growth because of God's grace. Yet the people always looked for a man to help them.

A. By God's grace we can grow in many settings that are MUCH less than God's ideal. We must be careful not to become compliant when we see a little growth assuming we are in God's sweet spot for us. Our wayward hearts will quickly misguide us, and will prevent us from thriving as God wants.

P. Jesus, who was my second king? South Hills.
Who is my third king? Crossroads.
And I still haven't found what I am looking for. You have always been looking for me.
Vision. Hope. Security. Belonging. Purpose.
All of these you have looked for in the "church," but these things lie in the Creator... not the creation, "founder," or the "barbarian"... they are found in me... so follow me.

SOAP: a new reality

S. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth. - Revelation 5:10 (TNIV)

O. Jesus offers us belonging, purpose, and authority. His blood did far more than simple forgiveness for those who receive it. He has brought us into a new reality.

A. What does my day look like if I live like Jesus' blood is only like forgiveness? Often it means a day a mistakes, weariness, weak prayers, passivity, distraction, and something like slow death. For real life is only "after we die." So we better "get busy dying."

What does my day look like if I live like Jesus' blood ushers me into a new reality? I "get busy living." I tend to be more focused, directed, relaxed, quiet, patient, prayerful, and powerful.

P. Jesus I am sorry for all the times I live in a way that treats your blood as if it were common. There is something beautifully powerful about your shed blood for me. It is the beginning of a new relationship and reality with you. I want to live out that reality in a way that will invite others to join me!

SOAP: how do you listen?

S. Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Those who have will be given more; as for those who do not have, even what they think they have will be taken from them. - Luke 8:18 (TNIV)

O. How you listen to God and his word matters. Those who have cultivated the soil of their hearts will continue to be given more of God-given eternal life. Those who are hardened/satisfied, and do not do the work of the heart will find their life snatched away, withered, or choked out by circumstance.

A. How do I "trample" or dismiss God's word so that the Enemy is able to snatch away the seeds of life? How do I forget to nurture the word of God I am excited about so that it is not able to take root? How do I allow worry and immediate pleasures to become my focus instead of the word of God?

P. Jesus help me to listen with an attitude of hearing, retaining, and persevering.

SOAP: remember and obey

S. Then in the nations where they have been carried captive, those who escape will remember me—how I have been grieved by their adulterous hearts, which have turned away from me, and by their eyes, which have lusted after their idols. They will loathe themselves for the evil they have done and for all their detestable practices. - Ezekiel 6:9 (TNIV)

O. God longs for his people to remember him. He yearns for them to turn before everything gets as bad as it possibly can. In their comfortable lives they have neglected God. God invites Ezekiel to be uncomfortable (literally laying on one side 390 days, then flipping to the other for 40) in the midst of a comfortable nation. God invites Ezekiel to ration his food when he is surrounded by abundance. Ezekiel remembers and obeys.

A. Is my obedience a function of my ability to remember God? When surrounded by a culture of comfort and rights, will I literally lay down my comfort and rights to obey God? I hear Jesus inviting me to remember his faithfulness in order to prepare my heart to naturally obey him in difficult times.

P. God help me recall what you have done... You made the stars, You walked with us in the garden, You saved us from our violence, You called out a people to show us your goodness, You were faithful to them when they were unfaithful, You sent your Son, our Savior, our King, our Master, You sent your Spirit to inhabit your people, You left no one out, You have been refining your Bride (the Church), You chose for me to be born, You knew me before I was born, You gave me a family who sought to honor you, You gave me faith at a young age, You gave me godly examples of daily faith, You called me to serve, You gifted me to encourage, You saved me from my sin, You are changing my heart and my habits, You sent an earthquake, You healed Rebecca, You showed me the helmet of salvation, You have spoken prophetically, You are leading me through the valley of death in my heart, You have blessed me with children, You have been faithful to bless me in my work, and the journey goes on into eternity... Lord, help me obey.

SOAP: come get away

S. The hand of the LORD was on me there, and he said to me, "Get up and go out to the plain, and there I will speak to you." - Ezekiel 3:22 (TNIV)

O. Getting away from the distractions of everyday life will help me hear God.

A. I want to begin each day with some time apart from distractions to listen to God through his word and prayer.

P. Jesus, thank you for inviting me to get away with you. Help me form the discipline to "get away."

PS. Did this SOAP teaching some Childrens Workers what they can do with their classes. Was amazed that we only read Ez. 3:22-23, and we all met Jesus in a very personal way. Renewed my hope in God's Word not returning void.

as kingfishers catch fire

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell’s
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves—goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying What I do is me: for that I came.

I say more: the just man justices;
Keeps grace: that keeps all his goings grace;
Acts in God’s eye what in God’s eye he is—
Christ—for Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men’s faces.

- Gerard Manley Hopkins

SOAP: desperate need

S. Do not hold against us the sins of past generations; may your mercy come quickly to meet us, for we are in desperate need. Help us, God our Savior, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for your name's sake. Why should the nations say, "Where is their God?" Before our eyes, make known among the nations that you avenge the outpoured blood of your servants. - Psalm 79:8-10 (TNIV)

O. The burden of the mistakes of past generations fall on Asaph's shoulders. He longs for God to lift the burden, forgive his people, and restore the glory of God's name.

A. Out nation, culture, and Church are in dire straights. It's our fault. We marveled in ourselves and our accomplishments. I am convinced it's just the beginning.

P. How I long to be free of what seems to be a long history of giving you lip service! May your mercy come quick! Don't wait Jesus. Your people and your Church bear your name. How long, O Lord, will we be caught in a fog of selfishness and indulgence! Help me Jesus, I desperately need you!

PS. My first prayer was very self-centered. It's cool how writing out your prayers helps you see who you really are, and then how God is changing you.

first day of school

Today was Ashlyn's first day of school. Ever.

An amazing moment.

It was awesome to take her into class. Sit with her while she did her first activity. Then watch her from behind one-way glass.

An emotional time to be sure. And, yes, we are the parents you come bearing a camera.

I'm kind of speechless about it... so I just like looking at this picture.

I was watching through the one-way glass from behind her at this moment. I won't forget it.

SOAP: my friend dave

S. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Rescue me from my enemies, LORD, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name's sake, LORD, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. - Psalm 143:8-10 (TNIV)

O. O how good it is to remember what the Lord has done! He has lifted me up. Placed my feet on solid ground. He has set hope in my heart and led me in the way of peace.

There is something about the poetic words of David's heart that can lift my spirit up from weariness, depression, and defeat. I find the the heart of David so appealing. It feels sometimes he could be a good friend. He continually speaks what is on his heart, but turns our attention to God and his goodness. Thanks Dave!

A. I want to be a friend, husband, and person of honesty and encouragement.

P. Inspire me to write poetry again Jesus. Fill me with the delight of your name and glory. Help me be a friend like Dave.

the soul of leadership

O God of such truth as sweeps away all lies,
    of such grace as shrivels all excuses,
come now to find us
    for we have lost our selves
        in a shuffle of disguises
            and the rattle of empty words.

Lord your Spirit move mercifully
    to recreate us from
        the chaos of our lives.

We have been careless
    of our days,
        our loves,
            our gifts,
                our chances. . . .

Our prayer is to change, O God,
    not out of despair of self
        but for love of you,
            and for the selves we long to become
                before we simply waste away.

Let your mercy move in and through us now. . . .

Amen.

- Ruth Haley Barton

SOAP: resting place

S. My people have been lost sheep; their shepherds have led them astray and caused them to roam on the mountains. They wandered over mountain and hill and forgot their own resting place. - Jeremiah 50:6 (TNIV)

O. Why are the people lost? They have been led away from their resting place. Did the shepherds reject the goodness of a place of rest? Or, did they not know what they really needed?

A. A timely message as I have picked up Strengthening The Soul of Leadership. Do I have a resting in God? Do I lead from this place? Is the natural result of following me to find rest?

P. Jesus, I want to find rest in you. I want to lead from the love, peace, security, and hope that you offer. Not out of the insecure, rocky, fearful part of my flesh. Teach me to be dependent upon you. I struggle to be consistent with you. I am struggling in this 21 day personal revival. I will struggle to finish this new book. But I sense in both that you want to speak, teach, and lead me. Be my resting place Jesus.

SOAP: give me jesus

S. And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. - 1 John 5:11-12 (TNIV)

O. What can we bank on? God's promise. Eternal life. The world may be under the control of the Evil One, but Jesus has overcome. And through our faith he is making us overcomers.

A. I want all of Jesus today.

P. Lord Jesus, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

SOAP: seek life

S. Should you then seek great things for yourself? Do not seek them. For I will bring disaster on all people, declares the LORD, but wherever you go I will let you escape with your life. - Jeremiah 45:5 (TNIV)

O. Baruch wants to find rest and take root. Following God has worn him out. God reminds him that the world is not as it should be. There is a call to not get comfortable or invest too much in the things of this world for its all going to end (kingdoms, governments, people groups, cities, homes, farms, the very mountains and trees). God's promise is that Baruch will live and escape the end of all things. "Don't get entangled with this world!"

A. How am I entangled? How am I seeking "great things" for myself? What did Baruch want? How did he get entangled? I want more press, more security, more praise, more ease, more pleasure . . . I hear Jesus calling me to seek life. Seek the things that will last. Seek first his kingdom!

P. Jesus purify my desires. Expose what I am seeking. Help me to really live!

SOAP: you don't even know me

S. In the ninth month of the fifth year of Jehoiakim son of Josiah king of Judah, a time of fasting before the LORD was proclaimed for all the people in Jerusalem and those who had come from the towns of Judah. - Jeremiah 36:9 (TNIV)

O. So the people of God set aside some time to pray and fast and in the midst of this time God basically says you've all missed the point. You all have not been obeying me. You all don't even know me.

A. It's seriously troubling to me that as I begin a time of personal revival that God exposes the emptiness of religious acts. They can really be deceiving. You seem to be doing the right thing before God, but then you might be COMPLETELY missing the point. Time and time again God says in the OT that he wants people to "know that he is the LORD." I am reminded of Jeremiah 9:23-24 (TNIV): This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let those who boast boast about this: that they understand and know me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth,for in these I delight," declares the LORD.

P. Jesus, help me not to trust in religious experience or discipline. Instead let me have more of you! Teach me to decrease that you may increase. Teach me what it means that I no longer live, but its you who lives in me. I don't need empty acts of devotion. I need you! I want to know you! Help me not to back away from you out of fear, but to approach your throne with boldness because of Jesus. I need the mercy and grace available there.

PS. I first read through today's reading and felt "nothing stood out." As I sat down to write about this experience I realized I had highlighted some verses. It was a blessing to go back and re-read those verses, because God wanted to speak to me through Jer. 36:9. How easily I walk away from the Word of God thinking I have not heard from the Lord. Let me encourage you with this: As has just been said: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion." - Hebrews 3:15 (TNIV)

SOAP: the word of god, the word of men

S. Let the prophets who have dreams tell their dreams, but let the one who has my word speak it faithfully . . . "Is not my word like fire," declares the LORD, "and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces? . . . "Therefore," declares the LORD, "I am against the prophets who steal from one another words supposedly from me . . . But you must not mention 'a message from the LORD' again, because everyone's own word becomes a message from God. So you distort the words of the living God, the LORD Almighty, our God. - Jeremiah 23:28, 29, 30, 36 (TNIV)

O. God has some harsh words for the prophets and priests. It has become their practice to marvel at each others dreams, words, and ideas. They go on repeating these dreams, words, and ideas to anyone who will listen. Clearly they had an audience. These were words the people welcomed and praised them for. God's words have a specific result; it is a fire and hammer to the stubborn hearts of people.

A. Jesus, how are my words? Am I speaking what you talk to me about? Or do I simply repeat the dreams, words, and ideas of others? It is certainly tempting to re-use the words of other pastors. They range from simple, wise, powerful, to unique. They certainly sound good and seem to be helpful. Even my own words sound pretty good from time to time. I want to speak your words and teach your Word. I hear Jesus asking me to "turn now, each of you" . . . in other words, follow through on the time of personal revival so that I would be certain where my strength, words, and actions come from.

P. Here we go Jesus. I want to make a renewed commitment to Prayer, Purity, and Purpose. Help me Jesus in my unbelief. Continue to correct and discipline me through your word.

SOAP: a call to personal revival

S. Therefore this is what the LORD says: "If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them. I will make you a wall to this people, a fortified wall of bronze; they will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you to rescue and save you," declares the LORD. - Jeremiah 15:19-20 (TNIV)

O. In Jeremiah 15:15-18 we see Jeremiah's trust, devotion, delight, and frustration with God. He longs for God's presence and work in the midst of a religious system and nation that has turned its back on God. Verse 19 is the foundation of God's prescription for Jeremiah. Personal revival.

A. I have been confronted by three ideas lately. Prayer... through the difficulty of circumstances and the movement of prayer at CBC. Purpose... a consistent reminder about avoiding Pharisaical living. In other words, to love justice, mercy, and walk humbly with God. Purity... a call to holiness. I came across www.theburningheartcontract.com last night which summarized these things into those words. It also has a possible track for a 21 day personal revival. Then I read the verses above today about personal revival. I definitely hear Jesus calling me to a new season of life with him. I am worried about not being faithful for the 21 days, and whether, if I make it, it really makes a difference. I think I am going to start next Monday.

P. Jesus, thanks for speaking so clearly through people, circumstances, your Word, and your Spirit. I hear you calling me to restoration and revival. Thank you for the example of the students meeting in D.C. for prayer and fasting. Help me see clearly the things that may cause me to trip up in the next 25 days.

SOAP: my life is not my own

S. LORD, I know that people's lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps. Discipline me, LORD, but only in due measure— not in your anger, or you will reduce me to nothing. - Jeremiah 10:23-24 (TNIV)

O. Jeremiah is clear in his mind that his life is not his own. God is the expert on him and his life, so Jeremiah trusts him to direct his steps.

A. My life is not my own. It is not for me to set up my calendar. It is not for me to determine how I spend my money. It is not for me to set the agenda for a meeting. It is not for me to shape my relationships. It is for me to follow Jesus' lead!

P. Lord, no one likes discipline when going through it. But Lord I am confident that it will be good. And I want to learn how to have you direct my steps. So teach me, discipline me, and care for me.

reminder: fotc

Flight of the Conchords - Robot Future

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journal of spiritual formation & soul care

I was encouraged to receive the first issue of the Journal of Spiritual Formation & Soul Care, there was a lot of wisdom, freedom, and Jesus to be found. For those who want thoughtful, biblical, and well formed discussion on what it means to walk with Jesus as a disciple, I highly recommend this. The first issue alone tackles some great misconceptions, helps clarify questions about the role of spiritual disciplines, and offers some good reviews of other books that may be helpful in our growth.

Personally, I found these quotes from John Coe's article on Resisting the Temptation of Moral Formation helpful this morning.

"no amount of effort in spiritual formation or the doing of the spiritual disciplines can grow (you) or fix (you)"

"the Christian life is not fundamentally about being moral in itself or about being a good Christian boy or girl"

"the Christian life and true spiritual formation denounce the moralistic life as a way to find happiness and please God"

I also really enjoyed Richard E. Averbeck's article on Spirit, Community, and Mission: A Biblical Theology for Spiritual Formation. A good look at the Holy Spirit's work in the individual, community, and the world.

gasbuddy.com

FYI: If you want to check out the cheapest gas in your area GasBuddy.com is your friend. (San Jose peeps click here)

do you chacha?

On the SHCC Senior Grad Trip I learned of a great phenomenon. ChaCha. The concept is simple. Need an answer to a question? Hate sorting through a search engine to find it? Then have a human find the answer for you and give you a reference link. It's called "social searching."

This can be done online, by text message (only your standard rates apply, 242242, which is ChaCha), or by phone (18002242242). It's brillant, handy, and hilarious. Ask it whatever you like! We used to get inside info on Disneyland, settle debates during car games, and to ask questions about the meaning of life.

i'm kind of nervous about this

jesus and dinosaurs

Need I say more?