lent: examen
Along this Lenten journey I have revisited the discipline of examen. Simply stated, examen is learning to "hold what gives you life." It is the process of becoming aware of God's loving presence in what makes us most grateful and in what makes us least grateful. This process serves as a way for God to guide us, help us serve others, experience God's revelation, and find out God's purpose for our life. (see the book Sleeping With Bread, thank you Paul Dumesnil)
Today I discovered something lasting in my time of examen with my accountability group. "Relationships built on the pursuit of God last."
This comes out of the darkness of a new job and season of my life. As I reflected upon the last week and for what I am most/least grateful, I found myself recognizing a pattern that repeats itself in past ministry changes. My most satisfying seasons are marked with a trust of another to go on a journey with God together. My most challenging seasons were the building up the trust of another to the point of journeying with God together. Then the thought came to mind: "Relationships built on the pursuit of God last. I have built ministry with the partnership of those who have trusted me and chosen to pursue God with me."
There are a string of such relationships and ministry . . . Kit . . . Chad . . . Jon . . . Steve . . . Christina . . . Nate . . . Scott . . . the class of 2007 . . . Adam . . . Scott . . . Tracy . . . Robinson . . . and now a new chapter has begun.
I even remembered that this idea of trust and pursuit of God was reinforced by Carolyn Mitchell when she spoke prophetically at my last night at Day 7. She sensed that this is what would be the strength of things to come.
Without examen (in other words, submitting my day to the examination of the Holy Spirit and articulating it with brothers in accountability) I could have been lost in the fear of the moment and the fleeting feeling of satisfaction.
I knew Jesus, and He was very precious to my soul; but I found something in me that would not keep sweet and patient and kind. I did what I could to keep it down, but it was there. I besought Jesus to do something for me, and when I gave Him my will, He came to my heart, and took out all that would not be sweet, all that would not be kind, all that would not be patient, and the He shut the door. – George Foxe, as quoted by Andrew Murray, Humility
1 comment:
Reason to blog - The same way your sermons were a blessing to me, reading about your struggles with God, thoughts about God, help me as well. I know as a writer I want to be recognized, but I also want to bring joy, help, and wisdom to others. I think one of Satan's biggest tools is secrecy. I love how open people are in their blogs. I have been keeping you and your family in my heart because of what I see in your blog. Even my kids find joy when you post pictures of your little ones.
So in this time of EXAMEN. Maybe you should be aware that God really is present when you sit down to type. Your vulnerability is a blessing and it's the transperancy God calls us to.
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