anger gets the best

There is something burning underneath
something I have been ignoring, pushing down
I think I have the best of it
I think that I can convince myself of that

But then, the gift of circumstance
I say it's a gift because I don't want to fool myself
I say I want to hide, but what I need is light

Circumstance stirs my heart
Stirs what has been buried
In a flash anger is there
In a moment my body tenses,
my lips begin to speak,
my heart unleashed with the truth

It feels good at first
Therapeutic because its true
There is no stopping it, however
The fire still rages, beyond my control

I am left to survey the rubble
Survey the pain and hurt I have spread
I have hardened hearts
I have opened wounds
I have taken what was killing me
and given it away to others

I say this is all a gift,
not because of the result
It is a gift to see who I really am
A gift to know God loves me here
Here He wants Spring to come
Here He wants to be with me
I have known not love like this
I have longed for it forever

I say anger gets the best
It means that here I am loved
Here there is no hiding
Here I cannot do it on my own
Here, here I must count on grace