confessions of a sentimental cynic

On Volume 83 of the MARS HILL AUDIO Journal (an excellent assessment of contemporary culture, including movies, books, the arts, psychology, philosophy, ethics, etc, from a Christian perspective) there was an interview with Dick Keyes about cynicism.

Keyes placed cynicism (which he defined as the confidence that you can unmask the positive surface of people, institutions, and God in order to see the less than flattering motivations of greed, pride, lust, power, etc.) on the opposing side of a continuum as sentimentality. Both are to be avoided because they are a false response to a broken world, where cynicism says that brokenness is the last word, and sentimentality says it wants to be naive and be caught up in happiness. Cynicism is a danger for relationships and spirituality for it is impossible to recognize love when one suspects that everyone, including God, is into their own power and wants you to be a support of their power. A cynic is unable to love and be loved because one is forced to manage their image and presented self since they assume everyone else is doing the same thing. Keyes' conclusion is that one does not even want to find a middle ground on this spectrum, but rather transcend it. The means by which to do so were the theological virtues of faith, hope, and love. These are backed by "biblical suspicions," where Jesus teaches us to have a controlled sense of suspicion . . . unfortunately this point was not explored very deeply. So I am left wanting to go out and purchase Keyes' book Seeing Through Cynicism: A Reconsideration of the Power of Suspicion (and the other book recommended, The Culture of Cynicism).

slaves, women & homosexuals

After the sermon on Sunday at South Hills (where I work), I was challenged to reassess where I stand on women in pastoral office, teaching, and exercising authority in the church. The classic position has been one of male hierarchy (as expressed in Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood) where women are limited in the offices and roles they can have within the church. In the last couple decades many churches have begun to allow women to teach and be ordained as pastors. Our church currently has women who teach occasionally on Sunday mornings and hold the position of Director (which is licensed like a pastor, but not ordained). Our senior pastor expressed his desire to have women recognized as pastors.

In light of this I decided to pick up a book that has been often recommended, but I have never read. Slaves, Women & Homosexuals: Exploring the Hermeneutics of Cultural Analysis by William J. Webb. I made a quick read of it this afternoon (the first 65 pages and the last 30, still have 160 or so to go). The basis of this book is the concept of a "redemptive-movement hermeneutic." For those who don't know, a hermeneutic is the process of interpretation. So, to probably butcher Webb's main theme, he calls for understanding that God is continually moving his people towards a more full expression of humanity, ethics, and living. So while some may find that the way the Bible speaks about slaves or women not progressive or acceptable, what Webb wants us to remember is that God was making radical changes for the culture at the time of writing and that he was wanting future generations to build on the universal principles that were beginning to be implemented amidst his people (consider the principles from Jesus' teaching about why divorce papers were a part of the Mosaic law, but not the ideal from Matthew 19). As Christians now universally support the elimination of slavery, equality in the workplace, etc, he calls for God's people to raise the freedoms of women, equality in service, and the honoring of gender differences. This he calls "complimentary egalitarianism." Or, he wants those who want to maintain an honoring of men to consider an "ultra-soft patriarchy" where women are free to serve, but have symbolic honor of men. (For those concerned, he advocates for a compassionate defense of heterosexuality as healthy sexuality.)

I have wrestled with this question since college (my thesis in Biblical Studies at BIOLA was on the Theology of Gender). I arrived at that time (2001) at a soft patriarchy, and have been encouraged by Webb's insights about cultural hermeneutics to consider his ultra-soft patriarchy. Not sure where it will all end up. But if you are interested in a well-balanced understanding of these issues within the church, I found this to be a great book!

the bible

How young does a pastor's daughter learn about the Bible? In the last week (at 20 months) Ashlyn has started using the American sign language for and saying the word Bible.

sola scriptura

I have been reading some of the criticism of the Emergent Church (see the likes of Apprising Ministries). I have been confused to find that such pastors and writers view themselves as having a ministry of "discernment." In other words, they are warning Christians about "false prophets" that the NT letters warn us to look out for. Some of my favorite Christian writers and teachers(Richard Foster, Dallas Willard, Rick Warren, and Rob Bell) have been labelled "cult" leaders. A cause for concern for sure.

I think the bottom-line place of wrestling is the Protestant idea of Sola Scriptura. As I understand it, this principle (popularized by Luther and Calvin, and meaning "by Scripture alone" in Latin) means that Scripture itself is the guide for its own interpretation. This might become clearer if you understand that the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox church believe it is by Scripture and Tradition that one interprets scripture. I confess these to be simplistic understandings, but I think they will do.

This concept comes largely into play because "Emergent" people, like Bell, say that interpretation changes with new understanding. For example, for a long time the church used Scripture to defend slavery, something widely rejected now. As the teachings of Jesus more largely influenced culture some of our prejudices remained. We used Scripture to defend our prejudice because we knew nothing else. (I use "we" because it is my heritage, and I am a part of the Church with its mistakes and successes. I want to learn and grow from this heritage . . . this already might reveal some of my own tension with Sola Scriptura.) Continuing beyond such a simple example, Bell and others, sometimes go further to use "progressive" thinking and "new" historical, cultural, and spiritual context. These are then used to bring new light to the Scriptures. This scares many people, and honestly I am not too comfortable either since I don't always know whether to trust their sources.

A more abstract understanding, but perhaps more practical implication, of Sola Scriptura means that nothing spiritual outside the context of Scripture should be considered good. In fact, such spirituality is often demonized, literally (see articles about the new contemplative movement within Christianity). This runs into some serious problems when we embrace the principles of engineering, science, and economics to benefit us in our daily life, but cannot embrace other spiritual principles for daily living. The crux is that I can use extra-biblical knowledge to build me a bigger house and get me a promotion, but I can't use extra-biblical spirituality to shed light on the condition of my soul.

I want to lean on the tradition of Sola Scriptura, but I am not sure how far it is healthy to take it. This will of course cause people to wonder about my devotion to Scripture, but I am simply wrestling with my heritage and the other traditions of the Christian faith (there are more than 3000 denominations).

P.S. I am not a defender of the Emergent movement, though I identify with them and appreciate their insights. The formalized groups, like Emergent Village, concern me a great deal when it comes to being clear about the major tenants of the Christian faith.

scared by rob

The Bells started questioning their assumptions about the Bible itself — "discovering the Bible as a human product," as Rob puts it, rather than the product of divine fiat. "The Bible is still in the center for us," Rob says, "but it's a different kind of center. We want to embrace mystery, rather than conquer it." - from Christianity Today's "The Emergent Mystique" (see Brian McClaren's response, since the full text of the article is only available for subscribers of CT)

I have really enjoyed listening to Rob Bell's sermons for the last couple years (see the podcast list to the right), and have read his first book Velvet Elvis (I own Sex God, but haven't gotten to read it yet since I loaned it out to Kit right away). I often refer to Rob as a reference on some cool historical and spiritual background in sermons. I even have shown some of his Nooma videos to begin discussions at Day 7. You can say I am a fan.

Of course, in the midst of all this I know there is a lot of controversy that surrounds him. His basic approach of saying things that get people rethinking their assumptions and talking through their strongly held beliefs has been offensive to "fundamental" Christians. It shakes their world, and to be honest, I like it when it shakes mine. Many have run off the deep end without considering that Rob often says things that he may not actually believe to get people to talk and think. They think he actually believes these things (like his musings about whether Mary was a virgin in Velvet Elvis). I have staunchly defended him by saying that I think it is clear, especially in his weekly teaching, that he has very classic Christian beliefs, but new expressions to get us to really apply all the implications.

With all this said, I was scared by this quote I stumbled upon from Christianity Today. I wish I had the context to where he says that the Bible is a "human product." I can place a ton of different contexts where this might be appropriate . . . though they are a stretch.

I wonder how you view the Scriptures and the often debated influence of their human writers? Does this quote make you nervous if you consider the Scriptures "God inspired"?

christ has no body, but you

"Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours; Yours are the eyes through which is to look out Christ's compassion to the world; Yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good; Yours are the hands with which he is to bless men now."

St. Teresa of Avila

a rock and a hard place

This entry on Kit's blog is worth everyone's consideration. (the quote attributed to me comes off the back of Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis)

christian enterprise?

"Christianity started out in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an institution; it moved to Europe and became a culture; it came to America and became an Enterprise."

There is something disturbing about a quote like this. My first reaction was simple. "Ouch." It seemed clear that the philosophy, institution, culture, and enterprise were all unwanted additions to a pure . . . fellowship . . . movement . . . community . . . All these words seemed more appealing than the others used to describe the "change" in Christianity throughout history. However, after initial reaction to the established understanding of what each mean in regards to their current standing in the Christian world, I went back to the definitions. Here I found pursuits which I believe to be noble, worthy of effort, and should not be ignored by those who profess to follow Jesus.

Philosophy: the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct

Institution: an organization, establishment, foundation, society, or the like, devoted to the promotion of a particular cause or program, esp. one of a public, educational, or charitable character

Culture: the quality in a person or society that arises from a concern for what is regarded as excellent in arts, letters, manners, scholarly pursuits, etc

Enterprise: a project undertaken or to be undertaken, esp. one that is important or difficult or that requires boldness or energy; or a company organized for commercial purposes; business firm

Would one say that those following Jesus should not pursue rational investigation of the truths of Jesus and his teaching? I believe no. I believe what we react to in the above quote is the Greek philosophical influence on current "Christian" philosophy. This same direction of thinking could be applied to the rest.

Would one say that a fellowship following the teaching of Jesus should not unite as a group to be devoted to the cause of the Kingdom of God? Our initial reaction would be to the establishment of an institution that is so clearly corrupted by men, not the goal of Jesus' Way.

Would one say that those following Jesus should not concern themselves with the quality of a person who develops within the fellowship of those followers? Should they not express these qualities in the arts etc? Again, we most likely respond to the social norms that seem to breed a hypocrisy within "Christian" culture.

Would one say that those following Jesus should not undertake especially important tasks, like that of evangelism or service? Here, we might clearly see that the further definition of enterprise, which is surly in the mind of the one reading this quote, is the business and corporate establishment of such a cause. So perhaps the answer here is a bit more fuzzy. Surely Christians should devote ingenuity and effort to important tasks. The inherent fuzziness of enterprise for a religious community is when there becomes red tape and "administrative costs." The smaller "fellowships" would seem to have more accountability and less "overhead." Their ingenuity and effort would not diminish, and if they believe their "influence" or "power" is truly from the Spirit of God, then corporate backing may not be necessary.

So in the end I am challenged by this quote in a way I did not originally expect. Perhaps I might have initially intended to abandon these seemingly distorted changes to Christianity. Instead, I am actually inclined to consider the appropriate way to engage each to the benefit of the Kingdom.

What say you?

the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Yes, today was. And it reminded me of the classic Alexander and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I highly reccommend it for anyone, of any age, who feels they have encountered the same.

As a note: my day today actually ended on an up. My Connection Group (a small group of high school guys I meet with) were quite an encouragement, and we together discovered the $1 Tuesday Scoop at Baskin Robbins.

baseball

"Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come." - Terrance Mann (James Earl Jones), Field of Dreams

I must admit to be enamored with baseball. And since I have always wanted to more closely follow the whole MLB, along with rooting for the Giants, I decided to try out Fantasy Baseball for the first time. Thanks to Kevin Burrill for inviting me. You can track our league, and my "success," at our league's homepage.

As far as the Giants are concerned this year, I can only pray for the playoffs . . . Zito's new delivery and the Barry Bond's Show does not give me a lot of hope for more than drama this year. I hope Ray Durham pulls out another career season.

sex god

Over the last three weeks, and there are three more weeks to go, I have been teaching high school students about sex. It's quite the journey. The premise has been to discover God's plan from the Scriptures for the BEST SEX EVER. It has been fun, awkward, insightful, and challenging to remind myself about the Theology of Sex.

This week, I believe, Rob Bell's new book, Sex God, came out. (Is "came out" the best choice of words?) He makes an even stronger tie between our spirituality and our sexuality.

my valentines

I have to say there is nothing better than coming home on Valentine's Day to find this sign on the door from my daughter. Though she had some help, she colored and glued all by herself.

Even better, upon entry, I found the house full of the aroma of Snickerdoodles. Which, as anyone knows, are some of the best cookies ever.

These things both served as a reminder of how blessed I am to have TWO valentines this year!

falling rain

Today surely was not one of the best. It was not one of those days when things went wrong. It was one when it just seems like it was not enough. (Maybe it's just because I recently watched Office Space?)

However, as I walked out of the church office I found it was pouring rain. The parking lot was dark with only a few cars. The rain was steady and seemed like it fell in sheets. As I stood on the step outside the door I was protected from the rain and I automatically paused. I stood there waiting for something. There seemed to be a choice at hand. The rain was an invitation. As I walked across the parking lot the rain was cold, but I didn't want to stand still or get in the car. Then these words came to mind:

"(God) sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Matthew 5:45

These words come at the beginning of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount as a call to love your enemies. But today they were a simple reminder of God's presence and his love for me.

In ages past, and in other cultures today, rain has been seen as an act of God. It was a basic provision for cultures based on agriculture. Without it families would not eat or have the ability to trade for needed goods. It struck me as odd that today, in an post-industrial culture, rain is often seen as a hindrance or nuisance. Something to be avoided, unless of course there is a drought that means we cannot take as many showers.

As I thought about these words, and how they might be dismissed today, the rain seemed more heavy. The words remained close as well.

The invitation I felt on the step was one of grace. I knew today was not one I could have done, or had done on my own. The falling rain reminded me I was not alone.

The gift of falling rain is one for all to experience. One that invites everyone to remember that they are not alone. That they were never meant to live a day on their own.

caleb's dream

I've been asked a number of times what the name of my son will be (due May 11, 2007). The answer is Caleb Andrew Paterson. Yes, his initials will spell "CAP." Perhaps this will fuel a destiny of loving the game I love, baseball. Despite this coincidence, there really is a story behind the name:

Andrew is simple. It is my middle name. It was the middle name of my grandfather, Ronald Andrew Paterson. My son will carry with him the heritage of our family. Our heritage is a blessing, though of course, it is also a curse. If he honors his father and mother the Scriptures promise a long and full life. This is not simply an expression that means he must obey us. It is a calling to embrace who God has made him to be. It is a calling to accept the time and the struggles of humanity that he will face. When we can honor the reality of who we are and when we are, then, we will have a long and full life. Andrew, is a calling.

Caleb is the diversion, the progression, the next step beyond what I have known. Caleb, a Hebrew name, means "faithful, or devoted one." It also doubles as the word for "dog" (sorry buddy, it's true).

First, you must understand that Israel is God's chosen people, who by being grafted in by Jesus the Messiah, our family can now say is our people and our story. In our story, their is a man named Caleb. He is unique in his time. His generation sits at a crossroads with God and Israel's destiny. They are camped on the edge of the Promised Land and led by God to take it by force. But first, Moses sends 12 spies to survey the land (Numbers 13). Caleb is among them, accompanied by Joshua. The scouts return and report that the Land is all that God promised. However, 10 spies spread a bad report about the challenges and Giants that the people will face. Caleb stands out and believes that God can deliver the Land just as He promised. Because the people follow the report of the other spies God leads the people through the dessert for another forty years to wipe out the generation that would not trust Him. However, He protects Caleb and says:

"But my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit and has followed me fully, I will bring into the land into which he went, and his descendants shall possess it." Numbers 14:24

My dream for Caleb is that he would choose to be faithful and devoted to God in a way that surpasses his Fathers. In the midst of a generation that will increasingly turn away from trusting the promises of God, I pray he sees beyond the challenges and Giants of his time. He can go beyond me, beyond his grandparents. He can break the curses that have been passed down. He can enter the Promised Land. He can be a blessing. Caleb, is a destiny.

sitting in your weeds

Okay, so I have been listening to John Coe, more than just a little but. He referenced St. Teresa of Avila on the subject of being invited by God to sit in our weeds with him.

The picture here is that we often run around the garden of our heart pulling the weeds. But we are only be able to change the surface, and the roots will remain, only to grow back. We all have been raised, in one way or another, to cover our bad with good. Pulling the tops of the weeds of our heart is simply a cover. This is a life that many choose, and many are held captive by.

On the other hand, God offers us the freedom and protection of his presence and love to sit amongst our weeds. With no condemnation, he stirs the circumstances of our lives to reveal the weeds of our hearts. He then invites us to sit amongst the weeds with him. We have a choice to sit. As we sit there may be blessing, there may simply be weeds, there may be silence. But here amongst our weeds God is able to reveal the roots.

These words were freeing to hear, but I had yet to experience them. Then this week I sat in the midst of a meeting, checking out. There was an invitation to pray (I do work at church). As I sat there deciding what to do I was too frustrated (the Christian phrase for, "I was really angry") to be anything but honest. So I poured out the thoughts that came. They were quick to come, but they were slow to be written in my journal:

I am tired.
I am done with this meeting.
I am angry.
I am disappointed in myself.
I want people to think my idea is the best.
I want to be lazy.

I thought now God could give me the answer we were looking for, but I quickly realized this was an invitation to sit amongst my weeds. I needed to give up what I want, and just sit with God. This time he chose to show me my weeds:

I put myself in places of control/power so that even when I yield it is only because I choose to.
I get incredibly angry when MY kingdom is usurped.
I use God's Name as a justification for MY kingdom.
I am more interested in seeing MY kingdom flourish.
Being in charge is not to serve others, but to see MY kingdom fulfilled.

Here are my weeds. They seem harsh now typed for all to see. But at the time they were sweet. It was good to see what was under the surface of my heart. God has been changing me. Reshaping my desires. And the only way to be fully formed like His Son is to go deeper. These were welcome words. The beauty was that they came as my own. I was able to admit their truth in the light of God's acceptance.

One day I know He will pull these weeds, and I long to continue to trust God to show me more of my heart and what can be made new.

anger gets the best

There is something burning underneath
something I have been ignoring, pushing down
I think I have the best of it
I think that I can convince myself of that

But then, the gift of circumstance
I say it's a gift because I don't want to fool myself
I say I want to hide, but what I need is light

Circumstance stirs my heart
Stirs what has been buried
In a flash anger is there
In a moment my body tenses,
my lips begin to speak,
my heart unleashed with the truth

It feels good at first
Therapeutic because its true
There is no stopping it, however
The fire still rages, beyond my control

I am left to survey the rubble
Survey the pain and hurt I have spread
I have hardened hearts
I have opened wounds
I have taken what was killing me
and given it away to others

I say this is all a gift,
not because of the result
It is a gift to see who I really am
A gift to know God loves me here
Here He wants Spring to come
Here He wants to be with me
I have known not love like this
I have longed for it forever

I say anger gets the best
It means that here I am loved
Here there is no hiding
Here I cannot do it on my own
Here, here I must count on grace

grace wins

Jon Sontag turned me on to this interview from Christianity Today with Bono:

Assayas: I think I am beginning to understand religion because I have started acting and thinking like a father. What do you make of that?

Bono: Yes, I think that's normal. It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma.

Assayas: I haven't heard you talk about that.

Bono: I really believe we've moved out of the realm of Karma into one of Grace.

Assayas: Well, that doesn't make it clearer for me.

Bono: You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics--in physical laws--every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.

Assayas: I'd be interested to hear that.

Bono: That's between me and God. But I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I'd be in deep shit. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity.

It was challenging to consider whether "Karma" is in fact a truth of the universe. Bono makes some good support for that idea. The difficulty with embracing Karma for me is whether or not you believe Karma is an answer to the world's problems. If we, as humans, make enough "good" action will the world respond with an equally "good" reaction. I think that there are some basic concepts one can embrace, but if you have a Biblical worldview then Original Sin becomes a real problem for Karma being the answer. Those who are "good" from the outside must ultimately consider their "inside," just as Jesus challenged the religious leaders of his day to do. And the real question then is, "Does my 'bad' inside deserve an equal and opposite reaction of 'bad' if on the outside I am 'good'?"

Someone self aware enough, like Bono, is able to recognize that no amount of "good," spiritual, or religious effort is going to be able to overcome the true state of mankind and have a saving reaction. With the attitude "I can't do it on my own," we become open to Grace. Grace imparts to us what we cannot do on our own. It begins to reshape us in the form of ultimate Grace. The Bible argues that Jesus, as God and man, is that ultimate Grace. We then become students of Jesus in how he lived and moved outside of "Karma" and into life at its most complete.

The things I have heard Bono say about life and God have always driven me to be a better student of Jesus and the Bible. Here Bono says, "I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity." I too want to choose to hold on to Jesus for life now and life to come.

original sin

As I listened to John Coe, the Director of the Institue of Spiritual Formation at Talbot and BIOLA, he made an interesting observation about modern thinking in regards to psychology. It seems our tendency is to cast the blame of our wounds and behavior on those who injured us as children. Jon's observation was that the wound does indeed come from our Father and Mother. Put simply, Adam and Eve. For those that don't buy the story this may seem too far out there.

As I continued to reflect on my own wounds from childhood and the missing initiation and affirmation my heart longs for now, I am compelled to begin to agree. Perhaps the experiences of life only affirmed and deepened the brokenness that is passed down through the generations. All are born broken. All are continually wounded by a broken world.

The Enemy seeks to deepen the doubt he fostered in our original parents that "we are not all that we could be" and that "God is holding out on us." The fearful thing is that we now are NOT all that we could be, though our Parents were before they sinned. The affirmation we experience in this world of our own brokeness almost serves to affirm the lie that God is holding out on us. This is a twisted logic that moves us away from actually becoming all that we could be by what God IS in fact offering us, life, and life to the full.

One implication is to avoid the blame of our first parents, "he/she/the devil made me do it." When blaming those who hurt us in our past we fail to see how they were passing on the wound they had received from this world. This perpetual cycle of lies and blame has only been building on itself and puts us deeper and deeper into the sin which destroys us.

As I look into the eyes of my daughter and consider the birth of my son, the questions that weigh heavy on my heart and soul is "What will I pass on? Will the cycle continue?"

Never. For I will continue to bring myself before Jesus and the work of his Cross, Resurrection, and Ascension. It is here at the throne of God where we "receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." Hebrews 4:16

super bowl

Here's to all those years of waiting. Glad that Peyton and Dungy got their Super Bowl rings. There are not two more deserving guys. To the students who I watched the first half with, "What's the score now!?!"

adam's ankles

I was sitting in a meeting today with Adam Rechenmacher and found myself distracted because of his ankles. He wore those low socks coming just slightly out of running shoes with brown pants. I took the time to ask him about his ... distracting ... fashion statement, and he expressed his desire to be like House, who wears running shoes to work. I'm not sure Adam realizes that House has jeans with his running shoes, not pants. It's the coat with jeans that is a real fashion statement. Nevertheless, the excuse of being like House meant they were some amazing ankles at work today.

the gentle slope

"It does not matter how small the sins are, provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into the Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick. Indeed, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one-the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."

I discovered this quote on the myspace page of Scott Callisch, one of the students I hang out with. Not sure of its origin, but it certainly caught my attention.

I appreciated the idea that sin moves us towards Nothing. I had written Darkness before in a previous post, and was feeling the tension that God seems to lead me into the Darkness of myself. Now it makes more sense to me as Darkness and Nothing. They both have similar qualities and can be equally as frightening. Nothing, however, is void of substance and can not be illuminated. While Darkness waits for the Light to come.

I will certainly return to this thought for gentle slopes are more easily travelled. Without looking I would find myself far along the path to Nothing.

This will certainly require more prayer.

*Scott let me know he found this quote from The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Go figure it is a Lewis quote!

24

So I have found myself pretty much addicted to 24 for quite sometime. I really have only faithfully watched the last three seasons, and saw the end of the first season. There are times I hate myself for having to know what happens to Jack and his world. This season, and last, I am frustrated by the continual unprofessionalism and incompetence that surrounds Jack. I find myself wanting to fast forward my Tivo through the other scenes just to see how Jack responds, but I have found this takes away too much of the story. There still certainly remains the questions about who will they kill next, who is really a mole at CTU, and which storyline are they completely wasting my time with. Even with these seemingly predictable elements, I can't stop watching.

the realities of heaven

So often I am driven by the thoughts, ideas, opinions, preferences, and tastes that are simply natural to me. Yet these desires, when followed, have taken me to places of darkness more than the warmth of home. I am deceived by my own being to end up where I never wanted to be in the first place. I struggle with the assurance I feel about how "I must be right" to go this way or that, but then finding out how this way is one of hiding and ruin.

The wonder of the Light of God in my life is that he leads me into the same darkness to reveal what once was good and can be good again. There is a chance to bring more than enlightenment or knowledge. There is the hope of being more, whole, holy, home. His light leads me without condemnation or fear, but with the gentle strength of knowing that I am cherished and beloved. There is more to me, to humanity, to this world, to the Divine than I could have imagined. All the great stories of humanity find a new reality in my everyday life.

So these ancient words have new meaning, new substance, new hope . . .

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God." Colossians 3:1

"I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." Psalm 16:8

One rendering changes Col. 3:1 to say "set your sights on the realities of heaven." Heaven is where God's will is always done. Here is where all that I ever needed is offered and readily available. When I am ushered into the light of Heaven I am home. However, this is not the end, for I have found my home only to be called to bring it back to the world I came from and still live in.

My prayer is that I will not be deceived by imitations of home. By following the lasting light and life of Jesus, as if he were me today, perhaps others will join me in finding what we've always been looking for.

it begins

I am indebted to Chad Miller and the community of young adults from Whittier Area Community Church for the inspiring title and description. These words have haunted me from afar and seem to encompass my desire for this blog as it begins.


"Illuminate ... assumes that God’s Light shines on everybody (Matt. 4:16), but that it is our responsibility to cultivate God’s light in us (Matt. 4:19), so that His Light can shine through us to a dark world (John 13:12-17). In order to cultivate the Light of God in us, we meet weekly ... for encouragement, teaching and worship. In order to let God’s Light shine through us we reach out in service ... seeking to meet real, practical needs and to illuminate the Gospel in our actions." - Chad Miller


il·lu·mi·nate /v. ɪˈluməˌneɪt; adj., n. ɪˈlumənɪt, -ˌneɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[v. i-loo-muh-neyt; adj., n. i-loo-muh-nit, -neyt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -nat·ed, -nat·ing, adjective, noun
–verb (used with object)
1. to supply or brighten with light; light up.
2. to make lucid or clear; throw light on (a subject).
3. to decorate with lights, as in celebration.
4. to enlighten, as with knowledge.
5. to make resplendent or illustrious: A smile illuminated her face.
6. to decorate (a manuscript, book, etc.) with colors and gold or silver, as was often done in the Middle Ages. –verb (used without object)
7. to display lights, as in celebration.
8. to become illuminated. –adjective
9. Archaic. illuminated.
10. Obsolete. enlightened. –noun
11. Archaic. a person who is or affects to be specially enlightened.

These definitions challenge who I am, how I live, and who I long to be.

Will you seek to be illuminated and illuminate?