balcony time

I want to invite you to consider Balcony Time. I have stolen the phrase from a leadership book and am using it now to refer to my life with God. The basic concept is this: get off the stage of life and sit up in the balcony of the theatre with God in order to talk with Him about what is going on on the stage. Colossians 3:1 might be a theme verse: Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand.

For me I have to have a regular time set apart for this (usually Thursday morning). I also have to get away from the places I usually find myself, like home, work, church, places I usually run into people I know, etc. Getting out in nature or drinking a quiet cup of coffee helps.

The first few weeks I decided to be intentional about this I struggled with a busy mind, ringing phone, books that wanted to be read, music calling to me, etc. I found myself running from questions like, "Is my heart for God growing or shrinking?" Or, "What am I most/least grateful for?"

This last week seemed to be somewhat of a breakthrough. As I sat God brought a picture of twirling plates to my mind. Each plate was labelled with parts of my life, Family, Ministry, Friends, etc. Then in front of my on the table was a plate labelled Heart. There was a clear invitation to pick up my heart... but I would need to set down SOME plates.

Ministry was the first God brought to mind. I was overwhelmed with that idea but God said He would provide. I asked for a godly woman to help out in the high school ministry. He said send out an email. So I did. Within 8 hours I had two women interested. Some good consolation.

I share this because I know it is easy to become busy with so much of our lives (even while journaling or doing a daily devotion). Developing the rhythm of stepping out of our usual lives and fixing our eyes on Jesus pays off!

Get out for some Balcony Time soon!

lent: examen

Along this Lenten journey I have revisited the discipline of examen. Simply stated, examen is learning to "hold what gives you life." It is the process of becoming aware of God's loving presence in what makes us most grateful and in what makes us least grateful. This process serves as a way for God to guide us, help us serve others, experience God's revelation, and find out God's purpose for our life. (see the book Sleeping With Bread, thank you Paul Dumesnil)

Today I discovered something lasting in my time of examen with my accountability group. "Relationships built on the pursuit of God last."

This comes out of the darkness of a new job and season of my life. As I reflected upon the last week and for what I am most/least grateful, I found myself recognizing a pattern that repeats itself in past ministry changes. My most satisfying seasons are marked with a trust of another to go on a journey with God together. My most challenging seasons were the building up the trust of another to the point of journeying with God together. Then the thought came to mind: "Relationships built on the pursuit of God last. I have built ministry with the partnership of those who have trusted me and chosen to pursue God with me."

There are a string of such relationships and ministry . . . Kit . . . Chad . . . Jon . . . Steve . . . Christina . . . Nate . . . Scott . . . the class of 2007 . . . Adam . . . Scott . . . Tracy . . . Robinson . . . and now a new chapter has begun.

I even remembered that this idea of trust and pursuit of God was reinforced by Carolyn Mitchell when she spoke prophetically at my last night at Day 7. She sensed that this is what would be the strength of things to come.

Without examen (in other words, submitting my day to the examination of the Holy Spirit and articulating it with brothers in accountability) I could have been lost in the fear of the moment and the fleeting feeling of satisfaction.

I knew Jesus, and He was very precious to my soul; but I found something in me that would not keep sweet and patient and kind. I did what I could to keep it down, but it was there. I besought Jesus to do something for me, and when I gave Him my will, He came to my heart, and took out all that would not be sweet, all that would not be kind, all that would not be patient, and the He shut the door. – George Foxe, as quoted by Andrew Murray, Humility

lent: failure

Let us pray to God that the other gifts may not so satisfy us that we never grasp the fact that the absence of this grace (humility) is the secret reason why the power of God cannot do its mighty work. – Andrew Murray, Humility

How hard I try to NOT do wrong. I set my efforts and thoughts on the things I wish not to do, and I hit them every time. The day begins facing the same stumbles and my prayers focus on NOT stumbling. Instead I hear Jesus calling me to direct my thoughts and efforts towards what is good. That I might naturally do the things which are pleasing to Him.

How easily I am satisfied with the flash of the Christian life. For five months I was not able to exercise the spiritual gift I find the most satisfaction in. It was a dark time of discovery about how I entrusted my satisfaction to the success of this gift, instead of satisfaction in Christ. Now as I return to this gift, almost too much, I find the experience void of the feelings of satisfaction. There is much that blesses others, but I am left empty and even drier than when I began. I hear Jesus calling me to seek to be emptied of myself and full of Him. Emptied of the satisfaction of His works through me, that I may be more satisfied in Him.

God is never more glorified in me than when I am satisfied in Him. - John Piper

lent: nothing

I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. – John 15:5 (ESV)

The secret – of which all nature and every person and, above all, every child of God, is to be witness – is that he is nothing but a vessel, a channel, through which the living God can manifest the riches of His wisdom, power, and goodness . . . being and doing nothing by ourselves so that God may be all. – Andrew Murray, Humility

How comfortable am I with these thoughts? Not very. Am I only as great as I am nothing?

It is as if Jesus says to me, "There is nothing more pleasing to me than man fully alive in me."

There is a sense of home and purpose in these words. While I am uncomfortable with be nothing, it feels that there is more "something" in the thoughts of being fully alive in Jesus.

May I live in the tension of these thoughts that I might find the sweet surrender of being in Jesus.

lent: hunger

For what do you hunger? For what do you hunger most?

Food. Water. Affirmation. Acceptance. Pleasure. Comfort. Community. Christ.

For each I found myself longing. For many I found some previous disappoint lingering alongside that longing. It seemed a risk to admit that any had such an influence over me that I would say I "hunger" for it. Hunger admits my need. My dependence. My incompleteness.

To face our discomfort . . . feeling small . . . ignored . . . troubled by change . . . heaped with sin . . . sitting in silence waiting for God to speak . . . there is much hunger in our discomfort.

To face our comfort . . . love of another . . . the care of God . . . Immanuel . . . strength in weakness . . . being humbled . . . being lifted up . . . there is much hunger in our comfort.

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! – Psalm 34:8 (ESV)

There was a day I died: died to George Mueller, his opinions, preferences, tastes, and will; died to the world, its approval or censure; died to approval or blame even of my brethren or friends, and since then, I have studied only to show myself "approved unto God."– George Mueller

We must make humility the chief thing we admire in (Jesus), the chief thing we ask of Him, the one thing for which we sacrifice all else. – Andrew Murray, Humility

lent: humility

The truth is: pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you . . . As much as you have pride within you, so you have of the fallen angel alive in you. As much as you have of true humility, so you have of the Lamb of God within you. – Andrew Murray, Humility


"Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.'
– Isaiah 58:6-9a (ESV)

As Lent begins, I get a late start. What will be my purpose: to let pride die.

But to what end? To hang my head in holiness? No! To be filled with the light and love of grace.

Make way for Jesus! May the paths and hills be straightened that he would be Lord.